Some month ago, some Ghanaians were shocked to hear whatsapp to be banned forever in Ghana.
Some of us knew it was clearly hoax. Some also were thinking about how their last days on whatsapp would go.
If you missed the fun , here is a copy for you:
" Latest information reaching us indicates that the co founder of the largest Social Media who is also the owner of Whatsapp, Mark Zuckerberg has accepted to ban Ghanaians from using Whatsapp this 1st April as a result of some situations He finds inappropriate.This move came as a result of some research done on all the whatsapp databases across the world.
The decision to ban Ghana according to the Social Media Ruler is as follows:
- Ghanaians post a lot of “Pasco” which has caused a virus to attack the whatsapp system.
- Ghanaians chat a lot and do not even sleep at night.
- Ghanaian Males have broken the world record of using Whatsapp to propose to more than 50,000 women.
- Ghana leading with more pornographic pictures shared online.
- Too much editing on their D.p’s.
This means that on 1st April, Ghanaians will no longer have acess to Whatsapp. So, at the moment, we advised all Ghanaians to chat “last hour” because they are going to miss whatsapp forever. "
Whatsapp has become much more than a messaging app. Among its many accolades, it has also turned out to be something of a joke portal. Some funny messages and pictures find their way to Whatsapp from God knows where, and within minutes they go viral. Dare post a joke you saw an hour ago to a group, and you can be sure someone will cry ‘Pasquo!’
Over the course of last year some particular pictures popped into the Whatsappverse (Whatsapposphere?) and made us laugh and laugh some more. Here we take a trip down memory lane as we look at 31 of the best, funniest and most ludicrous.
1. This guy has absolute faith in his Economics teacher.
2. He should be glad his first name is not Sonic.
3. Before it left waters, this trotro was a boat.
4. Some phones need accessories. Others need isosseles. Others equilateral.
5. I’m more concerned about the paternity of the baby than the spelling mistake.
6. An example of how teachers don’t encourage creativity and ingenuity
7. I can’t even.
8. Brief and concise
9. Gives new meaning to ‘The word of God is like a double-edged sword.’
10. ‘Peter, Peter, send the bottle back.’ It’s an old joke.
11. Newsflash: You die either way
12. Dream wedding. Let no one ever say Ghanaians are not resourceful
13. In their defence, they’ve lived a very hard life
14. Boys abre
15. Another example of unrewarded creativity
16. The judgement day that had everyone running scared.
17. One of many memes inspired by the beloved and elderly goalkeeper
18. Clearly he was born to be an artist, not a mathematician
19. The Hip Slip: Girls abre!Girls abre hip slip
20. Real life Dumsor
21. The animal is a professional
22. The sad occasion didn’t discourage the usual suspects. RIP Paul.
23. That got the point across
24. *Still in that moment of silence*
25. Google has something to say about every situation
26. Fortunately/unfortunately she is currently teaching SHS English in a village somewhere
27. The most powerful woman in the world
28. Women never lose sight of the important facts
29. Modern Warfare: Prayer Camp. We do not wrestle against flesh and blood. You be there and joke.
30. Out of the mouths of babes
31. And my all-time favourite…
That girl means business.
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In Ghana, there are many words/phrases we use and assume they are perfect but the funny thing is, the world knows nothing about these words or phrases.
We coined them ourselves and it has become so normal we see it as the correct or right English words and phrases.
We’ve already given you 10 of such words and phrases and here are 42 more just to keep you on the guard.
1. Jack or Root
This word is actually common in the Ghanaian pidgin but found its way into proper English with people using it in formal write-ups. When people use these words, they actually mean an erection.
vivian jill surprised face shocked
2. Juice
We refer to Sperm as juice.
3. Blowman
In movies, the Hero or protagonist is always the Blowman because he executes most of blows or sort of.
4. Killer
And the killer is always the Villain.
5. Our Day
On the eve of vacation, especially from the lower to the upper primary, children throw a party or picnic where their parents prepare all sort of tantalizing foods accompanied with pastries and drinks to share with their peers. In Ghana, we refer to it as Our Day.
6. Pour
When you hear people say pour in Ghana, especially when they talking about a sex act, then you should know they are referring to Ejaculation.
7. Gangalia
If you’ve ever heard this word anywhere then you should know what they actually meant is Gang Leader, which has been corrupted to Gangalia. This word is only known to us, the world knows nothing about it.
8. Battery Water
If you’ve ever been to the mechanic to change your battery or to recharge it, the common word you’re likely to hear is Battery Water, what they actually meant to say is Sulphuric Acid.
9. Palaver
“More money, more palaver” is what’s written at the back of somebody’s car and it simply means “more money, more problems”. When you hear people use this word in Ghana, it means problems.
10. Chef
When you’re experienced at something or have the technical know-how to something, we refer to you as Chef and does not necessarily mean the head of cooks.
Image: NdaniTV/YouTube
Image: NdaniTV/YouTube
11. Burger Meat
In Ghana, we say Burger meat and that means Pork.
12. Booklong
When you’re knowledgeable about something and is able to give vivid descriptions to things in books or talk too much about books or don’t know how to summarize simple explanations, we say you’re booklong. If you don’t find it in any dictionary, don’t worry, it is in ours.
13. Brutal
When we refer to something as being brutal, we are not referring to the literal meaning of the word, it actually means something entirely different and that means, fun and exciting.
14. By Day
When you hire somebody to weed your compound for you, it is referred to as By-Day.
15. By Heart
If you’re rough and rowdy, we say you’re by-heart.
16. Caterpillar
Don’t bother trying to explain all the types of heavy duty cars and bulldozers in town, just refer to them as Caterpillar, Ghanaians will understand.
17. Charley
When we say charley, it means peer or friend.
18. Chew and Pour
If you’re in school and you hear people say, chew and pour, it simply means, memorize.
19. Chewing Stick
A chewing stick is a kind of toothbrush, don’t bother trying to find it in the dictionary. It is usually a twig of a tree used to clean the teeth.
20. Chop Chops
Chop Chops simply means Savories, usually used at events where item 13 are served.
liwin saa
21. Chook
To chook means to jab or puncture something and these days it also means gossip or snitch.
22. Chop Bar
An eatery or a place where you can buy food and eat is usually referred to as a chop bar.
23. Chop Money
The money husbands leave behind for their wives to use for the upkeep of the home is known as Chop Money.
24. Concert Man
Most comedians are referred to as concert men.
25. Cornroll
You say braids, we say cornrolls, a name derived from cornrow hairstyle.
26. Counters
The caps of bottled drinks are known as counters because they were used to teach counting in classrooms.
27. Curve Curve
When travelling and there happens to be many turns on the road, we say, the road is curve curve.
28. Dash
To dash means to tip.
29. Face The Wall
When you hear this, it doesn’t mean you should actually face a wall, it is just the name given to a local dish known as Konkonte.
30. Free Range
Many homes in Ghana do not have WC’s and so you find people defecating in open places and this is termed as Free Range. ???
Akrobeto
31. Knickerbocker
We call baggy shorts Knickerbocker
32. Lavender
Every perfume is called Lavender, names after the lavender plant.
33. Long mouth
If you love to gossip, we say you have a long mouth.
34. Maame Water
A mermaid is known as Maame Water.
35. Motor Way
When you’re bald headed, we say you have a motor way.
36. Potomanto
Potomanto is any large traveling bag, Potomanto is also used by students to mean objective questions during an examination, where the questions are mixed.
37. Red Fish
In Ghana, snappers are referred to as red fish, because of their red skin.
38. Rice Balls
Rice balls are a coagulated rice shaped in balls and in the local parlance called omotuo but we devised our own English name for it, called rice balls. So in case you can’t find it in any dictionary, now you have it.
39. Rice Water
Just like rice balls, we just didn’t know how to make you understand this dish, so to be able to communicate easily with you, we devised our own name for this and called it rice water, but it’s just your normal rice pudding.
40. Running
If you are communicating with a Ghanaian and he says he is running, he is not really referring to the literal meaning of the word, he means he is down with a diarrhea. ???
Surprised-Face-Funny-Black-Baby-Image
41. Supi
We refer to lesbians as Supi.
42. Watertank
When at the local mechanic and he tells you there is a fault with your water tank, he is referring to your radiator.
Add yours if we haven’t said it all. You may want to see the first 10 words only known to Ghanaians here.
